


A Marauder's Life

by AlisiasPotterGryff



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter-Marauders
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:46:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27557833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlisiasPotterGryff/pseuds/AlisiasPotterGryff
Summary: Remus is struggling through his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He desires to be hidden from the world, hiding from his friends, fighting not to let them notice that he is concealing the biggest secret of his life. He was already a monster, his body already had to be ripped apart every month so why did he have to go through this too? Follow Remus as he goes through life. Share his Happiness and his pain and see what happens as he falls in love. Will he be able to keep his secrets? Will he accept himself and who he is? Will he and his friends make the biggest mistake of their lives? Will he get through his fifth year or will he drown in his emotions?
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to @CyborgSquirrel for all of your help! I could not have been able to start of this story with out your help!

'Remus was running through the dense woods. He was moving fast, faster than he had ever run before, the trees nothing but a green and brown blur as he passed them. There was a pleasant feeling of comfort around him and he knew that, even if he couldn’t see him, his friend was beside him. He dodged around trees and he jumped fallen logs with ease, landing on his front legs and leaping forward again the second that his back legs hit the ground. The rushing air in his fur felt exhilarating, and he relished in the feeling of freedom that the cool whip against his face provided, feeling as if he could go anywhere in the world. He skidded to a halt and sniffed at the air. There was water nearby. Panting, he turned towards it and threw his head back in a deep, soulful howl, telling his friend to follow him. The scents of wood, smoke, soap and vanilla surrounded him. Together, Remus and his friend padded over to the nearby river. He still couldn’t see him, but the feel of his presence and his scent told him he was there. When he reached the water's edge he bent his head down low, looking curiously at his reflection, the wolf staring back at him. He stood watching as his friend joined him, resting his head on the back of Remus’ neck. This is what peace feels like, this was the feeling of pure bliss—'

Remus jerked awake and sat up, breathing hard. He could feel his heart hammering against his ribcage, surely about to rip through his chest. What the bloody hell was that? Dreams of the wolf were meant to be horrifying nightmares. They had always been blurry images of blood and gore, always violent and full of rage. Why was this different? It hadn’t seemed like a nightmare at all. It left him feeling content, maybe even happy. It had been a good dream. Sirius had been with him. Had he been a wolf too? Or was he simply running along behind him? He couldn’t remember. The images were getting more and more incoherent; it was like trying to hold water in his cupped hands.

Remus tore himself away from his thoughts. He could hear James, Peter and Sirius rustling around the room. Rolling over, he reached for his wand on his bedside table, making sure to keep his hand as inconspicuous as possible, dreading the fate that awaited him if the others knew he was awake.

“Tempus.” He whispered the incantation, the sound hardly leaving his lips. A yellow light left his wand tip, illuminating a small clock hovering in front of him. The time read exactly six thirty. Way too early to be awake on a Saturday morning. Remus extinguished the glowing clock and rolled over, groaning aloud. Too loud. He froze, listening for any telltale signs that might indicate his friends had heard him. He was met with silence.

Remus sighed in relief. They must have gone down for breakfast without him. He used their absence for his own benefit, adjusting his quilt and snuggling down into his pillows, intending to get some much-needed sleep.

“MOONY!”

Hearing the yell, Remus covered his head with his arms, and attempted to wriggle out of bed before the impact could hit him. Too late. Sirius had launched himself on the bed, right on top of Remus, pinning him so he couldn’t get up.

“Son of a bloody banshee! Get’off Sirius, I can’t breathe, you’re on my lungs!” Remus tried to hide his blush. He always did that when he was lying and he hated that he held such a tell-all reflex. He wasn’t completely lying, he really couldn’t breathe, but it wasn’t because of the pressure Sirius was putting on his chest. Remus had had a crush on Sirius since they first started at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At first he thought it was just because he admired him, and then he told himself that it was just curiosity. Now, however, it had been a year since Remus had figured out he was gay and there was now no way that he could avoid it. He had to face the fact that he, Remus Lupin, had feelings for his best mate. He hated feeling this way, everything would be so much easier if he didn’t, but no matter how much he wished it away the feelings stayed with him, like the silver sparkle in Sirius’ grey eyes would always stay, floating on the surface of the deep, grey pools. 

“But it’s time to get up!” Sirius whined, now poking at Remus’ face until he grudgingly opened his eyes, pulling himself from getting lost in the depth of grey and silver before him. 

“If you don’t get off and stop poking me with that finger of yours, I will eat it. The full moon is in two days and I’m sure that the wolf would love an early meal.” Remus did his best to scowl up at Sirius but it was awkward since Sirius’ face was mere millimetres from his own and Remus was far too preoccupied, trying not to focus on the fact that he would only have to move his chin up just a fraction of an inch, to kiss the boy on top of him. 

“How dare you!” Sirius feigned being hurt.

“Sirius. If you don’t get off me right now, I swear to Merlin I’ll do it.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes and bent his head down low whispering in Remus’ ear, sending shivers down his spine. “Calm down, love. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m getting up.”

Before Remus could react Sirius was up and going through James’ trunk. “We’re taking the one- eyed witch statue to Hogsmeade to get prank supplies. James and Peter are in the Great Hall and I’m going there now. If you want time for your breaky, then be down in ten minutes, I reckon we’ll leave in about” he took a minute to deliberate, raising his head, his eyes as far back into his skull as they would go, as if he was literally attempting to search his brain “half an hour”.

With that decision Sirius was gone, invisibility cloak in hand, leaving Remus frozen, attempting to figure out what the hell was going on.


	2. A Breakfast Order

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interesting surprise makes Remus realise that Sirius is noticing him far more than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm really glad that you liked this story enough to come to the next chapter!I Hope you liked it!

By the time Remus had pulled himself together and made his way down to the Great Hall it had already been half an hour, right when Sirius had said that they were going to leave. He knew that Sirius and James wouldn’t leave without him. The Marauders, as they called themselves, were far too nice for that. Remus hated being a nuisance. Sirius, James and Peter had all already put themselves through crazy amounts of stress and danger for him this year, yet no matter how much Remus begged them to stop they wouldn’t listen. They would only tell Remus not to worry while they continued to put themselves in mortal danger for the small possibility that they could become animagi and accompany Remus on the full moon.

“Ah bollocks”, Remus cursed when he dropped his bag running into the Great Hall, the contents spilling all around him. Everyone in the hall was staring at him as he bent down stuffing his dropped books, wand, money bag and quills into his bag. He used his wand to siphon spilled ink that was smeared all over his items and the floor, placing the now full again ink pots bag into his bag as well. Hair still sopping wet, Remus scurried to the Gryffindor table, plonking down next to his friends, breathing a sigh of relief as the few people that were awake this early went back to their breakfast.

“Alright there, Remus?,” James was looking at him with that gleam of mischief in his eye that said he had a plan.

“Yeah mate, why so flustered?” Remus felt the blood rush to his cheeks, dammit he really needed to work on that. Avoiding looking at Sirius, he made the only excuse he could think of.

“Um yeah, sorry I’m late. I fell back asleep.” He lent over Peter to reach for a scone from the middle of the table.

“Sirius has got your breakfast,” Peter said, a slight frown on his face, leaving Remus puzzled.

Remus pulled back, turning his head towards Sirius, looking at him for the first time since he had left the common room.

“What?,” Remus’ head was spinning. Why would Sirius do that? That was just absurd, he’s never done that before and he wouldn’t even know how he has it. The only person he has ever explained how, or why he has his breakfast like he does is Lily Evans. She was the only one that knows the specific set up it has to be in. The only one who knows what things can and can’t mix.

“I thought you might be a bit late,” Sirius handed Remus the plate and Remus’ eyes nearly popped out of his head. It was exactly how he liked it. On one side of the plate there was a half of an eggs Benedict without the egg (Eggs were the most disgusting thing Remus had ever tasted, who would ever want to eat a weird, gooey, tasteless breakfast?!). On the second part of the plate there was a still-warm scone with a thin layer of butter and thick layer of plum jam, safely tucked away from the hollandaise sauce. “How… how did you know?”.

“I’m not completely oblivious, you know. I think one would notice what someone eats for breakfast when they’ve been eating together for the majority of the last five years, especially if it’s one of their best friends.” Sirius rolled his eyes.

‘Friends’. Sirius had said the word many times since Remus had figured out his feelings for him, but none of those times had stung as much as it did in that moment. Remus looked down at his plate, pushing down the tight feeling of the wolf that was threatening to surface. He wanted to yell, he wanted to say how he felt right then and there, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew that if he did, everything would change. Remus would have to leave the marauders, they wouldn’t force him out. No, Sirius and James weren’t like that, but Remus knew that it would be way too awkward and he would leave on his own. Remus had other friends in Hogwarts like Lily Evans, Alice Fortescue and Severus Snape, but it wasn’t the same. The Marauders were his family and Remus knew that they would all accept him no matter what, even Peter, with whom he wasn’t as close as he was with the others.

“Hey mate, are you sure you’re alright?” Remus looked up at the voice, James was watching him, the gleam in his eye replaced with a look of concern, eyebrows knitted together, studying Remus’ face.

Remus forced a smile. He didn’t want his friends to worry and besides he was completely over reacting. “Yeah, thanks for the breaky Sirius. Sorry, I’m just really tired, only a week to go and all.” Remus ducked his head, fighting with his body to suppress the blush that was already creeping up his neck. He was unsuccessful. 

He could feel Sirius’ eyes boring into him, it felt like acid burning through the side of his head. He could tell Sirius was attempting to figure out what was wrong with him and Remus knew that if he didn’t get his friends focusing on something different, they were going to interrogate him further. Ignoring the growing lump in his throat, Remus cut a large piece of his Benedict and shoved it into his mouth. 

Remus closed his eyes in ecstasy, the fireworks of flavours exploding in his mouth, the tanginess of the hollandaise sauce mixing perfectly with the sweetness of the bread. 

“You enjoying that Rem?” Remus jumped, looking behind him as a small girl with ferociously flaming red hair walked up to them, her hair flowing like a cape behind her. She was going to provide the perfect distraction for James, and Remus knew if James was distracted, then Sirius would soon follow.

Remus quickly swallowed, wincing as a piece of not fully chewed crust scratched his throat “Oh, Hey Lils, yeah I am, the elves did an excellent job today. They really outdid themselves”

“I may have something to do with that. I was very good at serving it before you got here, you didn’t even have to raise a finger, And I didn’t even get a thank you,” Sirius pouted. 

Remus rolled his eyes. It was times like this when Remus loved Sirius as his friend, just happy to be there. Sirius was always an attention seeker, always fishing for compliments, and while it annoyed Remus he knew that no matter how much attention Sirius wanted he would give it to him.

“Wait, what?” Lily was looking down, her eyes were wide and darting from Remus, to Sirius and to the plate of food Remus was eating from. She was pressing her lips together, as if trying not to smile, a knowing look on her face. “Wow Remus, you never let anyone plate your food!” She bent down and whispered the next part, giggling as she did so, “Just picture it when you’re an old married couple.” 

Remus blushed a shade of crimson red. Surely he must now be brighter colour then the Gryffindor tie that was currently tied loosely around his neck. They technically didn’t have to wear uniform on weekends but he wore it since the only casual clothes that he owned were either pyjamas or plain grey joggers. 

Lily laughed loudly at Remus’ reaction. Lily was the only one who knew Remus was gay and had quickly figured out about his feelings for Sirius.

“What?” Sirius was looking in-between the two of them, trying to figure out what was going on, James next to him, a small scowl on his face, both attempting to put the puzzle together.

“Nothing.” Lily said, throwing Remus a wink and taking a seat on the bench next to him.

“Sirius, I did thank you before, stop fishing for compliments.” Remus smiled and turned to Lily. “When did they say the ball was at the prefect meeting last night?” 

“It's on the 20th of November, don’t worry I checked, it won’t affect your visits to your mother,” Lily smiled knowingly at him. She knew he wanted to go, no matter how much he said he didn’t. In truth, Remus loved the idea of getting dressed up and going to a ball. They could dance, talk, and just have fun. He wouldn’t have to think about any of his problems, he wouldn’t have to think about the full moon, having to go back home or stress about any of the work he had to get done.

“Ball? What ball?” James was looking at Remus and Lily, the light in his eye back again, but with a slight change. Remus noticed that there seemed to be something more in his expression, hope maybe?

“Yeah, Dumbledore wants to promote school unity. He said that he doesn’t want the war to put a stop to our everyday lives.” Lily sighed as she spoke. Remus watched as she searched the table looking for what she wanted.

“So then Lily, do you have a date yet?” James had a twinkle of hope in his eyes as he asked the question that Remus knew he was going to ask.

“Um.” Lily looked uncomfortable and her eyes darted to Remus. “Yes actually.” Lily shifted in her seat and reached right across Remus in order to reach for a scone from the basket in front of Peter, her hair dipping in Remus’ food.

“Hey!” Remus pushed Lily off of him. 

“Oh Godric.” she jerked the front half of her body forwards in order to save the front of her light purple shirt from the hollandaise that was currently clinging to her hair. 

James was the only one not laughing as Lily attempted to get the hollandaise off of her neck and chest. Remus turned to the table, looking for something to help her clean up with. “Oi Sirius.” Remus looked at Sirius and gestured to the pile of napkins next to him. Sirius rolled his eyes and still laughing, he passed them over to Remus. Remus grabbed the napkins from Sirius blushing as an electric zap passed through them when their hands touched. Sirius however just laughed even harder, eyes crinkling and tears threatening to leak out of the sides due to lack of oxygen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also a massive shoutout to the 'Hogwarts Rejects'. We met just over 36 hours ago and i think i've spoken to you in that amount of time than I have with my IRL friends. So I direct this chapter to you guys, as we remind me of a newer, much larger group of Marauders. Especially the OG's, luv ya 😘.


	3. The Passageway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Sirius asks Remus about the dance?

Remus frowned as he found himself walking up the stairs of the one eyed witch passageway on his way to Hogsmead, or more specifically, to the awaiting cellar of HoneyDukes sweetshop. Remus really should put up more of a fight about using the secret tunnel, when they had first found the tunnel Remus had refused to use it, always saying that it was against school rules. He worried because Dumbledore had already done so much for him and surely if Remus betrayed his trust he would surely be kicked out of hogwarts. That was, until Sirius and James pointed out that if Dumbledore really wanted them to stay in the castle then surely Hogwarts wouldn’t have opened up the passageways for them.   
Remus was pulled out of his thoughts at the realisation that Sirius was talking to him.  
“So Remus, whatcha think?” Sirius was looking expectantly at him, Remus cursed himself for not paying attention. 

“Umm” Remus searched his memory trying to remember hearing Sirius talking in the background while he was zoning out.

“Did you even listen to a word I said” Sirius frowned turning to James, “He’s Ignoring me Prongs! I can’t believe Moony of all people is ignoring me, some kind of best friend he is”   
James chuckled before his eyebrows drew together at the sight of Remus’ face, He was looking down at the ground a small grimace-like smile on his face. He hated that it affected him so much when Sirius said they were ‘friends’, that's what they were, after all.

“I said” Sirius exaggerated the words as if Remus were a child “that if you wanted we could go together” Sirius must have noticed Remus’ confusion because he rolled his eyes before continuing “To the dance, or ball or whatever you call it”

Remus’ jaw dropped “you.. wait.. do you mean us, as in you and me?” Remus didn’t know whether to be happy or nervous right now, this couldn’t be happening to him.

“I don’t know, I thought that since James is going to fail at asking Evans, that we could go in pairs, as marauders you know, what do you think?”

“Oh right,” Remus’ heart sank. Of course this wasn’t actually happening. It was probably for the best anyway, It would be too difficult to explain to his date. “Umm yeah, that sounds like a good idea but I can’t, sorry”

“Well why not” Sirius scowled, shocked that Remus had turned down the idea”

“Umm” Remus was sweating now, he needed to get into Hogsmead, there wasn’t enough air in that tunnel “I can’t because, well I mean I. Ialreadyhaveadate”

“What was that? Sirius was smirking now, no doubt internally gloating at making Remus flustered.

Remus took a deep breath, pushing down the embarrassment and bringing out his inner cocky Marauder, knowing it was the only way he’d get out of this conversation without admitting everything to Sirius. “I said, that I already have a date, so i'll have to turn down your offer”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, i know I am really shitty with hup dating but I promise that it will be better!

**Author's Note:**

> Also Thank you so much for reading this! If you would be willing to leave a comment, it's my first story so i would absolutely love it if you could give me any feedback 😁


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